Met my second Jaques of the week. A lady one this time. She got kicked out of KFC for smoking and sat in our car for a while, railing against all the first-born of Egypt, until her hot-as girlfriend came to pick her up. I live a classy lifestyle. Tonight was fun.
When we were in Cartmel last week Z managed to procure this fucking taxidermy parrot from I don’t even know where. Like, seriously, we split up for half an hour and he turns up with just the weirdest thing he can find. I’m not even sure it’s intentional, maybe he just attracts it or something. This is probably the weirdest example but it’s literally every time. ”Hey babe, look at this delftware I bought”, “Check it out! Patterned cummerbund!”, “How’s it been!? Look, I found Russian dolls painted like Tony Blair”.
The parrot has been out on the side all weekend but now he’s out climbing mountains or some shit with his mates so I’ve put it in a cupboard but now I’m thinking I could just bin it and feign innocence.